Make A Wish

I've got a couple of beautiful women in my life if you haven't noticed...and I'm trying to move mountains right now to make sure this family is provided for. Starting a business, especially a lonesome venture like freelance writing takes energy and time to take off...so there is my short short version of my blog neglect...

I love this blog and the satisfaction it brings, so it has found a place in my life that won't dislodge itself...this is my life, my chronicle, my way of keeping up with myself...I have been swamped in writing assignments which is only a good thing, and staying focussed is a job...

So Holly Girl, her official title in my cell phone (you all know her as Beautiful Holly) has stated she wants to adopt Aidan and Owen...this was voiced to me after a rough patch over the weekend...

What if I die or we divorce? She wants them in her life! I was in shock at the thought...I love my wife, but if we divorce will I really give up my boys a few days a week?...I said yes, which garnered happy tears...if I want my boys to have a mother, and I found someone that wants to stay as their mother, then I need to give all my heart to the idea and allow that relationship to be real no matter what...

So my beautiful family raised over $1250 dollars for the Make A Wish foundation and the walk was this weekend...we ended up in the top 10 teams somewhere in terms of money raised. So that felt great to give back just a piece of what was given to Owen and my family...

Families were urged to color coordinate their team shirts to show unity...

We showed up as super heroes...because if you read this blog you know that's how we fucking roll around here...

Aidan, as The Flash, managed to beat no one to the finish line, except for the people that showed up late....Owen was Mr. Incredible and Autumn was Super Girl, yet they needed to be carried because they were tired...and Tyler was The Punisher, though the only punishing he did was at the free food table...

Someone from Cake Boss was there and no one could hear a word he said during his speech...but no doubt it was inspiring...with an Italian accent...

The weather was beautiful, and the Body Slam Champion of the World was walking too...he was smaller than me...and his Champion belt was bigger than him...
 

So onward I type as my life rushes forward...

In this picture you will take note that I dressed up as the ageing, balding, scruffed up Superman...I strategically placed myself behind Holly to hide my super love handles...

Some how we ended up with two Bat-chicks...and a washed out old couple...who the hell are they? Oh! Hi mom and dad...

To this day I continue to be blessed in a mad world...for that I am grateful...



 

Confessions of a Glass Breaker

Ok I promised step by step instructions on how to replace the side window of a Dodge Dakota...

fuck that...

I have a history of breaking glass that I need to shoot from the hip about...

When I was younger, hmmm...maybe 8-9-10 or some shit like that...I used to pour rubbing alcohol on the bathroom floor when I took a shit and then light it up and watch it burn till if faded...

One day the fire got bigger than planned. With a shit smeared ass I got a towel to throw at the fire...the towel burned too...I shot water at the mess with the kitchen sink pistol...To cover up my debacle I threw the towel into the neighbors yard...a couple days later it ended up back in our house...it never came up...

But that's about fire...I have a history of breaking glass...

My first memory was of throwing rocks at the house behind our house...I wondered if I could hit a window from what was probably a good 40 yards...I hit it, it exploded, I ran to safety in front of our house...

Around the same Era of my life I threw a newspaper at some old people's window...I hated them...not sure why...though I never expected that window to bust...I ran when I threw it and puked in the back of my throat when I heard the shatter...When the cop pulled up to me and my friends my older brother Chris blamed it on some other douche bag...gave him his address and everything...

Then I threw a rock through a window at our own house...I guess I thought my accuracy sucked...but it didn't...I ran into the house saying "mom, mom, some kid through a rock at the house and ran through the alley to the street...he's gone..." WTF was she going to say...that I'm a liar? Naaaah...

In high school I beat up my brother Andrew...when my dad got home he threatened to beat me, so I ran into the woods...I found an old fire pit surrounded by beer bottles...I smashed them at a rock for a good 20 minutes till my brother found me...I call that "relief glass"...that episode landed me in therapy...therapy was a failure...    

Ok, now I'm in college...I'm drunk and walking past a ground-level room of this guy I hate...reasons were good enough...so I punched his window in and pushed his stereo to the floor...when I went to my dorm the RA asked what happened...I said nothing...my hands were pouring blood...I got disciplinary probation and stitches...

Ha...later that same year I helped my friends beat up a TV with some metal pipes(you know your're out there Mark Tibbetts)...we couldn't get the desired affect, so I brushed them aside and drove my pipe straight into the TV screen...it exploded, leaving shards of glass embedded into my thumb...I told the Doc in the emergency room I fell...he saw my bullshit clear as day...

All right...I still have a problem...

Last year in an argument with Holly I blew my fuse and punched my rear-view mirror...it shattered and tore from the car ceiling...I really didn't think I hit it head on...guess I did...

A month later some guy scraped into my car just to get ahead of me at a stop sign down in Union City...he took off like a bat out of hell...little did he know...

I chased him till he tried to escape near Giants Stadium...when he got stuck at a light I ran to his car and punched the shit out of his passenger window...I think he crapped himself...for once the glass didn't break...when I cleared my head I took off knowing full well I went too far...he sat in his own puddle when I turned around and passed him...I hope he reads this blog...

That brings me to Holly's truck window...you see, I have a history with breaking glass...

Thank you so much for reading my blog and making my Caymus story so popular yesterday...keep coming back...keep sharing us with your friends...cheers...I know this picture is blurry, but I did not break this glass...

Caymus Escaped

I will get to the title of this post in a minute...

Hello Caymus...he's here now and an integral part of our lives...I don't know if he knows this is his new home yet, but he has taken to following me around when I walk through the house...

I'm liking the idea of this dog growing on me...

Today was a day of three of us for the bulk of the afternoon...Caymus, me, and Jules...

The day didn't quite start off quiet or cute...

I promised the adventures of Caymus would make it into this blog...so Caymus made every effort for you to not be disappointed...in fact I only put a picture of Jules here to rest my blood pressure as I recount the details...

Aidan & Owen's bus pulled into the driveway...they opened the door to leave...my first day with my new dog and beautiful daughter was about to begin WHEN...

Caymus pulled a b-line out the door and down the street...

I chased and yelled CAYMUS! and he ran too...I walked...he stopped...I got close...he took off...

I'm not in shape...Caymus let me know how bad too...

To his credit he had business to take care of...his first stop was the front yard three houses down...to take a shit...

Mom and daughter are there to witness, as she points and yells "look mom."

awkward moment ensues with me, out of breath already, panting "sorry, I'll clean that up."

I guarantee the shit is still there...

Caymus unloads and moves on fast...he thinks I'm a joke...he won't even acknowledge my calls to him...he insults my "speed" with his speed...

I chase him around one house, yard and all, three times...then he does a 2 second 40yard dash, leaving me with a heart attack...

Enter beautiful Holly...ATTENTION: this is the explosive climax...(always a climax when Holly's around)

So she comes round with the truck...Caymus laughs at her beckons...She pulls up so I don't have to run anymore...I go to hop in, and she tears off before I get in...I feel like a rag doll...

I get out to call Caymus... he runs...

Caymus love watch stupid human be stupid...

So I jump in the car again...Holly takes off before I land...again...now I feel like Andy from fucking Raggedy-Ann and Andy...

I am so annoyed by the day that I jump out of the car and slam the door...

Shot Gun goes off...I mean the side door window explodes!!! Trust me...a $200 dollar hole in my wallet will burn my ass tomorrow...

blog post tomorrow with step by step instructions on how to replace side window for Dodge Dakota...photos included...

Here's the funniness of it all...Caymus was free...

His owner loved him very much, but under certain circumstances he couldn't keep him...He just wanted a good home for him...

He found our loving home...we were happy to find him...

Caymus is no longer free...he is $200 plus tax in frustration fees...


I wouldn't trade him for the world though...he's awesome and sweet...he's quiet...smooth and beautiful...he's Caymus the Bad-Ass, that made dumb human cough up stupidity and cash...FML and I love it!!!

Caymus is home...safe and sound...till the next time...

Caymus the Dog

Meet Caymus...he's the new guy in town to our home...True Dat: we got a dog...

We are selling off the frogs, gecko, and snake(if you're interested let me know)...in trade of this black Lab in our lives...awesome...

awesome lingered in the night when Caymus and I walked under a black sky tonight...this is gonna be good, this is great, Caymus is quintessentially a good boy...he's good shit! 

I am excited for the boys, as the adventures of Caymus begin...I'm excited because I got a new friend...

More on Caymus...it's destined...coming soon...we are growing...my life is a narrative...tell your friends about campbellonemillion soon...now Caymus rules...

We are building an amazon.com a-store...it will offer items from amazon.com that I pick like books, music, movies, and plenty more...I am soft opening with a small selection of delicious books....The store is growing daily...browse often...like it...get it...look for the link...

Walking With Children

We descended stone stairs and walked through green to the river...the backs of my children...Juliana Skye slung to my chest...we went into a valley of water...

We took the day off from school as a day of freedom, and we walked freely in the day...we walked Hacklebarney State Park...it was much needed time in the woods for all of us...I needed to feel connected to the living world...I will seek more of that in our lives...

Walking with my boys was a deep prayer in the woods...walking with my daughter pressed to me is a holy chant...vespers...winter's beauty...

My little love clings to my chest and my heart...boys bouldering waterfalls...she and I walk tightly...

This pouch holds baby Juliana Skye...this pouch is a gorilla sack...Man jump rocks with baby girl...Man-Daddy.Man Mad...

I love that I hold this baby being with me where ever I go, and I always have three boys ahead of me...walking

I'm a dad, and I'm walking into me...

I have a great writing assignment coming up...A fall ride around Lake Hopatcong...a reflective piece about the change of seasons and life reflections, years end on it's way...I can not wait to ride...I believe Beautiful Holly and Juliana will be on that journey...

Beautiful Holly was not at Hacklebarny today...No mommy...Just dad walking...and watching his boys walk...



Wishing Beautiful Holly shared in this day...loving the valley air...the boys in the natural world...my mind set like mist...my Father mind aware of what's ahead...

My week alone with Juliana ends in two days...I need to concentrate on the mission of words...I was blessed with this time...my blessings rain down...

I took pears and potato chips, probably not enough formula, a book of poems I didn't read, diapers, lemonade...we were just so damn ready for the wild...crazies of a mad mad world gone madder...

My boys were boys, I jumped and climbed like daddy monkey with baby monkey girl...We rule earth today together...



The sun came down like pillars, like radiant light shafts...light fought through: giving us the day...this day was poured on my life like water on the head...

These back shots of them moving away from me constantly haunt me...I see them going and going, my boys just going...walking

Walking is a great bond...water wraps around the land...my heart canoes the waters of earth...I stir my boys through great water...I lead in the valley...

Resting by the river...a pear, some light, all the enchantment that truly does exist...God right in your hand as you bite it...resting is a bond...

I love fruit...I love the fruit of my Holly girl...I love this lush life..

My journey is the heart...human is empty...I search for heart...

The bridge I cross is above sky, and water is a mirror...the mirror is fluid...

  

The end of my journey, and the journey itself, is all Heaven consumed with fire...

This Babyness...my little love is the life of me...Children rule my world...I am Mad the Father...

Walking has given us the day and we took the day with our feet...our hearts took the day with our shoes...

My life is a menagerie of thoughts, feelings, hauntings, places...and the places we go we walk to go...
This is for my children...because we're all alive...

Fathering My First Two Boys and Beyond

This picture was year ago. My life has changed, has been fed and nourished, grown...

My life as a father has flourished since then...but the bond between us has always been tight: it has only grown with the growth of our family.

As a father my life is focusing. It truly is the greatest gift. I don't care if you believe in God or not, or if you believe in nothing. Parenting, as I know it, is the greatest joy and the greatest mountain to climb.


My kids are a hell of a lot of fun and a true pack of pain in the asses. I love them with my whole being.

I've been a dad to these two guys through life, death, single-parenting, and life again. I've had big ups as a father and disappointments in myself.
There wasn't a thing in me that wanted Aidan and Owen to be sad over a thing when we it was just us.

I could truly laugh at some of the decisions I made as a father back when and I could truly cry if I hadn't moved on. I was out of my right mind for sure.

If I bought Aidan a Superhero at the mall and he wanted two...well he often got them both...I dressed Owen till he was too old...The list is long and shocking...

I like looking back at my life now and seeing where we have traveled in our lives...I like learning the right decisions to make regarding my children...Fathering is man's work...I've got plenty bricks to build...

This picture is a trail to the beach at the Outer Banks in North Carolina...They were misery on the walk...later in that day is the picture of Owen running
at the bottom of The Story of Owen in my blog archive...match the bathing suits...

During my single days in Vermont we took trips into nature daily...We often went to lakes and rivers...I love the water...I am deeply moved by the currents of nature...

After losing that sense to be wondered by things in the natural world for a while, I have become more aware of the pure blessing that this life and the energy of living truly is...What it means to be alive, and to give life, and provide for it is what it means to be a father, which is to grow into an ambassador of life and all things living and good...I love that life mimmicks the greatest poetry...

These little French fries and I have been through it, and I won't ever trade my life for anything...I write on for these boys...the boys I have loved, raised, messed up, nourished, dropped, farted on, and just plain gushed over since it began...

Fathering is the greatest subject I will never master...I want to be the greatest father...I love the Dad word...The word Dad is like a fist pump from above...I love that my family burst into a garden...

New life and new love pervaded my life when I moved back home to New Jersey...A girl came into my life, with her 13 year old son, then another smaller girl popped up too...Life has gotten clear again...I feel the wind now and know the currents of water...

I know life itself can not be trusted and has no obligation to us...I know I have an obligation to life...

Since Aidan was born my obligation has grown by 400%...So has my heart...I love loving my family...I give thanks for what has been blessed upon me...

If this wasn't fake space I would pass out water guns and yell fight...Please follow this blog by hitting the many follow buttons I have...and madly click the share buttons...We want fans in our lives...

This post is dedicated to the wonderful expansion of my family and my life.

Sunday Morning

Sunday morning rises like mist in the mind...Sunday morning comes slow...Sunday morning rises like an ocean...Sunday is a mountain...

I describe this blog as the chronicle of the writing life, and often it is...yet often I stray...though when I stray it's still a blog of how this writer sees the world...

Sunday morning drops on your heart like syrup...Sunday comes in slow drops of sugared water...I walk in the solace of Sunday...

I lived in Vermont for almost a decade...Vermont is the Sunday of America...

New Jersey is the Sunday news paper...I drop in on the morning like slow light drops on a canopy of trees, invading the under-story of life...

Good Sunday writing could save the world...It's crazy I had five things to write about this morning and and Beautiful Holly said why don't you write about Sunday mornings...

So Sunday entered the mind, and I entered morning...and light rained down...

The mind is focussed on the intensity of seeing things...searches total freedom...my mind erects an unfinished system of knowledge that collapses upon itself...I spiral out into water and growth...

I have stories to cover, one later today, meetings with connects in public relations, print, graphic design, and book making world this week and next...I need this to congeal...my energy needs to wrap around my work like Sunday morning energy...

I'm looking forward to this entire Autumn season, till the last leaf drops, leaving our lives bare and naked...

I'm looking forward to Winter for the first time in a long time...I'm attracted to the heart of winter...the desperate absurdity of the season that energizes man to rule the seasons of his life...

Tonight I will visit poetry...an essay...something creative...tonight I will grab the ladle and stir my Sunday evening...

I'm ready to walk out my front door and walk in the sugar of life...I want to walk in the colorful light of the chill morning...

all things light surround my day...all the people I know are close to my heart...I crack open my rock of a heart and spill myself to the four corners of Earth...

I fly from what has no wings...fly to where there is no end of journey...soar on the wings of Sunday...my eyes resurrect the world...  

      

Super Love

She makes me soar...I take flight...I am all madness, all God when it comes to my love...Her body, her face, her breast, lips, legs, ahhhh her....She puts a fucking "S" on my chest...

I walk proud because I want more out of this world because she has made me more because I want more for her because my life is abundant because of her abundant love...

I soar...I fly to moon...I circle Earth...my flight is ecstasy...

This marriage is union in the great sky...are you kidding me...she raised me up from earthen soil, resurrected me from the dead, gave life to nothingness...she is my marriage of Heaven and Hell, no good no bad, no up no down, she is the death of God...with her God is useless...with her I am God...

And yes, as She, She who possesses all the beauty that makes my world, she whose curves are the curves of the world, my world, she, the power behind my "S" is all woman...

She reaches for the Apple, she tempts me, makes me monster, her words stir my beast...awaken my hell...

Her eyes drive me mad...make me killer, make me maniac, make me fuck the world, smash world to pieces...

I bugaboo...I crazy, I lose her body, I kill you...

She threaten me...she leave me...I hunt your family...

My girl is my altar...I sacrifice, give my blood, eat her bread, I nail myself to cross in name of her body, for drink of her nectar...

So I haven't blogged in a couple of days.....

Marriage is work...beautiful Holly and I sometimes lose it...life got in the way...this is the chronicle of writer, father, husband...husband go mad...beautiful Holly make me mad...

She's so beautiful her words sting like poison...like ivy she spread on my soul she make me sick in heart and soul...I love her...I go mad if I lose her...I am writer...my "S" is made of human blood....

So yes fellas out there reading and women too...I write the greatest things about my beautiful Holly girl...I love her so much, so it comes naturally...so easily I am MAN...beast of a man...for Her...

Yet we are normal like you...we fight...marriage is work...marriage is the greatest work of all...When worlds collide, galaxies dance, explosions happen...

So life did get in the way...and it wasn't fun...

I hate when my Holly drives her sword through my heart, yet I hate the monster that sword unleashes....

No bomb compare to the bomb I explode...

Listen up men...if you care for you woman...hold her tight...when she stings you with her poison, when she hands you the reddest apple, when she tempts you with the devils fight...Be A Man...

keep the bomb at bay...

Everything in your life will suffer, your career, your appetite, your heart, your children become collateral damage...when you and your love let poison seep in...

..



So when it comes blow to blow, word for word, spit for spit....


Be a fucking Man...quiet your heart and walk away...

I am a man of many many mistakes and if I relay anything in this blog tonight...let me say...slap that "S" right front and center of your big man chest and man up, walk away...

Woman is all we can hope for in this life...

Woman is our greatest gift...When God turns his indifferent eye...When Jesus seems like fiction, Buddha seems foreign, salvation antiquated...

She will wake you....she who threw stones will kiss you...you who could not contain yourself will be heeled by her hands, her heart, and her body...

She will clean your blood and pack your little monster back where it came from...

What she dug up from within the mud of your heart, she will just as easily lay back to rest...and guys out there you will look like a fool...you will feel like a fool...you will hurt for what venom you have spit from your mouth...

So be leery of yourself...contain yourself...and realize the marriage you create is work, a work of art...

  
 Make sure when you wake in the morning it is her body next to yours...

You don't make love to her for nothing...you make art...you make family...you create what the world around you lacks...

deep inside her heart you plant your seed...deep inside her you are Superman...

She is the apple of your world...if you marry her...don't be a monster...she is the lush life of your world...her body is sanctity...Woman is holy...if you forget that principle, guys out there, then you lose yourself...

you violate all that you think you are...you become sewage...

  
I am human, so utterly human...I am man at his height and at his weakest...all at once...I love her beyond love...a love that kills all love...

Guys let me also say this....if you think you love your wife...you will never love her like I love mine...

I throw that challenge out there so that all women everywhere will be treated like flowers, like holy water, like beauty, like art, like ahhh...

the life of man is the life of an animal...the life of man without woman is no life at all...the life of man with love is eternity...

So if you want to live a life that is the greatest life of all...grab her hand and walk straight through life...into life...into heaven on earth.

Woman is truly all you can ask for guys...

Life has no mercy...

God has left us all for dead, so it seems I think...I am so unsure about that it's nuts...

I missed blogging, sleep, happiness, love, family, because I didn't take her hand enough when it was all that was needed...

I'm banking on tonight, that this blog will be enough to lead us to the swamp of the love...the mess we make of each other...

My wife is my life...my family is my life...this blog is so honest I should check myself sometimes...I give you my heart if you read this...I give you my truth that you make your life greater than mine...

I just have one thing to admit...it ate at me the whole time I wrote this blog...Superman is so cool, because  his powers are insane...he isn't human...I am...I have nothing in common with him, other than his love for Lois...My favorite superhero is all human...all flawed...he is cloaked in all darkness...He is a bad ass...